Stuck in the Middle

Stuck in the Middle with You - Jeff Healey Band

I'm trying to get to my last chemo treatment but the battle is to get my white blood cell counts elevated to levels that allow treatment to proceed.  Levels too low put me at risk of picking up all forms of infections, colds, viruses but also the chemo drugs knock down your levels even further so you need to go into it with a bit of a fighting chance.

Following this most recent chemo my post chemo care was to receive daily shots of neupogen for 7 days.   The shots are to be given subcutaneously (beneath the skin) or more commonly known as 'into the fat'.    Best spot to find that fat (in particular on me) is in the stomach.    So, every day I go down to the clinic for a shot in the stomach.   No real pain other than having to remember to do this each day.   Sounds easy but twice I've napped through the hours of the clinic and had to scramble to find another open clinic.    I also have to bring the drugs to the clinic, keeping them cold at all times and not shaking them.  So I couldn't name this blog post 'drugs in my pocket II' unless I include an ice pack and cautiously glide my way to the clinic.   Gliding is not in my nature.

When they give the shot they try to avoid any veins but if they happen to hit one you are rewarded with a big red blotchy bruise.   Seeing that each day when I dress is a good reminder that 'oh yeah, I have to go get another shot today'.

With low white counts, hanging around a walk-in medical clinics triggers immediate anxieties of picking up the many possible viral ailments accompanying all them other waiting patients.   It's like a little trigger set off when I walk in the door - immediate defensive mode.  In case anyone is in the market for a good viral fix, I suggest going to a clinic on a Sunday and hang out in the kiddie section.    Fortunately the medical community is very sensitive to the risk and they, without asking, fast track neupogen patients to the front of the queue.    Phew....I can get out of there before the anxiety really kicks in and I feel the need to resort to wearing a mask, obsessive handwashing and wiping the waiting room chairs with antibacterial spray.   Don't get me started on what gets it feels like to get on a crowded bus-too many potential pathogens,  Yes for $2.75 I can temporarily be knocked down a few levels on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.