How does it feel?

Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan

One of the most common questions I get these days is "How does the treatment leave me feeling". I'll attempt to describe it.   First off, it feels different for everyone so this is my experience only.   As my treatment is every three weeks, here's how the cycle seems to flow.

Week one begins with the chemotherapy treatment.  The treatment itself is given by IV.   The hardest part is trying to find a 'good vein'.   I'm not adverse to needles so I find this kind of interesting.   Just the prick of the needle and then it's sitting around waiting while the chemo drugs run into your veins.     It's a lot of time sitting, reading, chatting with the person in the chair beside you or visitor who has joined you for the day.  My treatment involves two medications, one that is administered by IV push, which means it's two large syringes of medication that the nurse injects slowly through the iv over a 20 minute time frame.   That medication could burn or irritate the veins so there's a slight bit of tension while you wait to sense any burning or pain.  Fortunately this hasn't happened for me.  The other drug takes an hour.    As I change medications along my treatment plan, the treatment will take up to 6 hours for the IV's.

The days following it is like an ongoing flu that doesn't get worse but then again you never quite get over it before the next treatment comes along.   Always just on the edge of nausea, feeling best lying down, short energy bursts, diminished interest in food, constant runny nose and stuffiness.  Horizontal rules this week.   Sweats at night and interrupted sleeps.    My brain is on overload so I have vividly real, bizarre dreams.   I recall imagined conversations during the day.   My kids are now used to me questioning them about whether a conversation occurred.

Week two the energy starts to return as does the appetite.  Brain is out of shock and back to 'normal' which means that my only excuse now is age.   A half day of activity such as walking, housework, e-mails can be managed if balanced with a few hours on the couch resting.  A little reminder that, yes, you are currently receiving medical treatment.  Still the flu-like feeling or harsh allergies with head stuffiness, runny nose, coughing and dry mouth.   The ability to multitask no longer exists so it's all one task, one thought at at time.

No hair on my head, provides a constant cooling factor.   Having no hair on my face save a few eyebrows feels great!!!   Baby's butt smooth skin all over.  Getting a bit more personal, no armpit hair is something that should be bestowed upon us all.  I'm sure it served some purpose in human evolution but what purpose does it hold now?

By the end of the week I get a few mouth or throat sores, like cankers.   These are from the chemo drugs.   I have been prescribed a mouthwash to gargle and swallow to manage these so that I don't get infection.  They are mild for me and build for a few days and then resolve themselves.

Week three more energy and less need to balance with downtime.  It's the week to try to feel the most back to normal just before the treatment starts.  It's a bit of a tease because it's like getting over the flu but you know that you're just going to be hit with it again in a few days.   So you feel somewhat good but yet always in anticipation of what is to come.

I meet with my oncologist at the end of week three to check my blood work and review the side effects to get the 'all clear' to proceed with the next treatment.  That's the time as well to review the list of questions that I've generated over the prior three weeks.  She is used to me arriving with my binder of notes and reports and list of questions.

My oncologist has assured me that the side effects will increase in intensity with each treatment, other than the nausea.  So by the end of week three I consider that I'm at my highest energy level that I will be at until treatment is over.   A diminishing scale of energy level.

So I guess you could describe ongoing treatments sort of like a roller coaster ride with the swings and cycles and ups and downs.  Dang it - I could have used that as my title on this one - 'roller coaster'!!!    See, there's a song in everything.      Roller Coaster of Love - Ohio Players